Connor Ryan Milliken
born 12.10.1998
died 12.11.1998
10lb. 4oz.
12/10/01 Connor would have been 3 today
This from Adrienne
When no one else willdo it for me
I say your name out loud
Just to bring you back to now
and to wrap up
your name like
holding you
I say it today and
think of who you might
have been.
Being three...and
imagined you waving
to me, face flushed with late afternoon
sun.
Adrienne writes:
The warm weightof you
but growing
cool
head turned away
eyes shut
tight
against this life
(what color were they?)
delicate skull
curved and sculpted
proud
holding you
smelling your sweet
hair like peaches
your fist curled tight
holding our future
is now a starfish open
and unmoving on my breast
they come
to take you away
this is not something
you put behind you
it noses in front of you
the wake of your boat
...and floats
alongside
not to be weighted down
or
drowned
but to be lifted up
to the
sunshine of your days
stay in your
boat
This poem was created by a friend when he heard of Connor's death. I have reproduced it as it appeared on his web site in January 1999.
I miss you my first son...